Anchor
by Nicky Morello
Summary: A love letter to anyone battling depression. Amelia/Arizona. Please review, Slight TRIGGER WARNING: This story does deal with feelings of depression.


Author's Note: This story is dedicated to anyone suffering with depression. My best friend suffers with it, battles with it, and I've seen how much of a beast it can be. You are so much stronger than you think. You are loved, cared for and are **NEVER** a burden. You're worth it, always.

Title: Anchor

She felt broken.

Amelia Sheperd lay huddled under the covers of her sister in law's bed, on her brother Derek's side. Her brother Derek who had been gone for two months now. Her brother Derek who was her anchor, her confidant, her lifeline. Ever since they had seen their father shot and killed in front of them at the age of five; Derek had been her protector. He had tried to protect her from the ugliness of life, had tried to shield her from anything bad.

Sadly, it had been a failed attempt.

Between her fiancé overdosing on drugs _she_ suggested they take, to her baby being born with no brain. Amelia had been through hell. A hell that no one should have to endure. A hell that no one could fully understand. In a way, Derek kept her sane. Derek kept her from sinking too far into the depth of darkness.

But now…

Now he was gone. Killed by an oncoming semi. He was gone and she was left with nothing, no one. She was left with only the numbing feeling of pain to keep her company. The brunette buried her face deeper into the pillow, the pillow that still lingered with his scent. Her sister in law, if she could even be called that, had taken off days after her brother's death. She had taken off without a word, and seemingly without a trace. She had left, leaving Amelia alone to deal with her own pain. She had left her to deal with her own pain in the only way she knew how; self distruction. Yes, alcohol seemed to be her only friend. She had somehow kept herself from taking drugs, her mind like a broken record reminding her that Derek would not be happy. Needless to say, he would not be happy if he knew she was drinking either; but it seemed better somehow.

She felt numb.

So numb that the feeling of the hangover she knew she had was non existent. So numb that her body felt like a shell. Her mind was blank, as if darkness had eaten her ability to think. She felt like she was drowning and couldn't pull herself up. As if the darkness was trying to eat her whole. She heard her phone go off, not for the first time in the last two days, but she didn't care. She couldn't bring herself to care. She knew people were worried, she just couldn't understand why. Couldn't understand why they cared. All she was was a burden. They probably wouldn't even miss her if she was gone…

Arizona Robbins ran to the nurse's station at Grey Sloan Memorial where Maggie Pierce stood.

"Hey, have you seen Amelia? I need her for a consult." The Peds surgeon asked.

"No." Maggie looked up, concern evident in her eyes. "In fact I haven't talked to her in a couple days. I'm worried Arizona. I've tried calling, texting. Nothing."

Arizona sighed, her heart aching. She knew Amelia from John Hopkins. She remembered the brunette as a self confident, spunky brunette. She had an air of confidence that was envious.

But she could also be a raging hurricane.

Yes, Arizona had seen Hurricane Amelia more times than she would like to admit. Those moments at Hopkins when the brunette would drink to the point that she'd have to be carried back to her dorm. Had seemed higher than a kite as she danced the night away; throwing herself at countless men. She had tried to befriend the brunette, had tried to be there for her. But it never seemed to work. The brunette would push her away, would tell her she was too perky to ever be her friend. After Arizona's brother died, she fell into a deep depression. The perkiness that always seemed to surround the blonde was gone. The good man in a storm had seemingly become the storm. Tim had been her anchor and she had felt like she was drowning. She knew exactly where Amelia was and she needed to get to her.

 _Fast_.

"I think I know where she is." Arizona said. "I'm gonna have Alex page Edwards."

Maggie nodded. "Bring her back, please Arizona. Tell her we all love her."

"I will." The Peds surgeon nodded, pulling out her phone and texting Alex quickly. She also texted Amelia as she ran out of the hospital.

 _Hey I'm coming over. Don't do anything drastic, please. I'll be there as soon as I can._

Amelia heard her phone go off again as she slowly opened her eyes. The room was completely dark except for the sliver of sunlight peaking through the curtains. Groaning softly, she buried her face back into the pillow,

Breathing in deeply.

Arizona made it to Derek and Meredith's house in record time, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw Amelia's car in the driveway. Jumping out of the car she rushed to the front door, knocking gently.

No answer.

She could see the empty tequila bottles littering the living room floor through the door. Arizona closed her eyes tightly, silently praying her friend was ok.

"Amelia?" Arizona called, knocking again.

Still no answer.

Sighing, she reached for the spare key Meredith had given her and Callie a few years ago. Opening the door slowly, she let herself in locking it behind her.

"Amelia, it's Arizona." The blonde's voice carried as she walked up the stairs. As she did, she saw more bottles in the hallway. Stopping at Meredith and Derek's bedroom door, she pushed it open gently.

Her heart _broke_.

Lying buried beneath the covers with her back to the door; was Amelia Sheperd. The blonde could hear soft crying as she entered the room and walked around the bed. "Amelia" She whispered.

Dull blue eyes slowly opened and looked up at Arizona tiredly.

"Arizona?" The brunette whispered, Arizona could smell booze on her breath. "What are you doing here?"

Arizona smiled sadly at her. Not saying a word, she pulled the covers back on Meredith's side of the bed. Taking off her prosthetic she climbed into the bed and took Amelia into her arms.

"Being your anchor." She whispered as she felt Amelia collapse in her embrace. She could feel tears soaking her scrub top as the distraught woman broke down.

"Thank you." Amelia whispered, as Arizona tightened her arms around her.

No matter how dark the darkness is, you never have to endure it alone. You are never a burden and you are loved. You are worth it. No matter how much you think people don't care; they do. Even if we don't know each other, I care. I'm here. My Private messages are always open. I'm here. _Always_.


End file.
